Quarantine Check In - Day 18

Yes, you read that right. Day 18. We self-imposed the quarantine in our house on March 14th….

I felt compelled to write this since President Trump just announced that the “Slow the Spread” campaign has been extended to April 30th - a month from now. Here in Indiana (at the time this is being written) is on lockdown until April 7th, so this is the date that I’ve had in my mind the past week and a half. Not that all would be gone & over by then, but that we’d maybe be able to ease up on some of the restrictions & precautions….

I want to preface this entire post by saying that I understand why we are doing what we are doing & I fully comply with the rules. We started our family quarantine early. That meant no more daycare for my 22 month old for now, no more doing activities with her out & about, going out to eat, etc. We wash our hands 85 times a day. We give her a bath every night when we didn’t used to. My husband is considered essential (praise the Lord & I KNOW he is), but his work week has been cut down to 3 days a week, which has impacted us financially. He comes home, changes clothes in the garage, puts them right in the washer, & washes his hands & face. We are encouraging our parents to stay home & we don’t go over to hang out with family & friends. We are taking this seriously because we know its important for us all to do our part to indeed slow the spread of COVID-19 & save lives.

And with all that said, I feel like we’ve been handling everything pretty well. We’ve remained positive. We’ve held onto our faith. We take advantage of Facetimes, Zoom calls, & streaming services for church, We listen to the news for information, but don’t become anxious over it. There have been many times when we could have cracked & things that have happened since the quarantine that should have shaken us, but we’ve remained pretty resilient.

I thought when all of this started my anxiety & overwhelm would be through the roof. I am not a Pinterest mom - I’m not good at crafts or baking or coming up with lesson plans - I’m just not. I wish I was 100% - I want to do fun things with my daughter like that! So when I realized that she would be home with me 24/7 at least until April 7th I panicked a bit, because I thought I’m no good at keeping her busy or entertaining her. But with some prayer & awesome teacher friends I’ve gotten through & even enjoyed our time together! But again this was because I’ve had April 7th as the light at the end of the tunnel…

So today when that moved to April 30th, I broke. The strength I’ve had over the past few weeks dwindled. I felt the pressure like a ton of bricks. Like this is never going to end & we will never be able to go do fun things, or even run to Costco for crying out loud, ever again. I cried. I mourned our “old” life. I miss my mom, my dad, my mother in law - I miss normal. And I’m sure my husband & daughter do it - I KNOW they do.

All of this to say, we’re all going to have our moments. We are all going to go through periods of contentment, joy, sadness, guilt, freedom, shame, longing, you name it. We’re going to feel every bit of this. And I think that’s ok. We’re human. It’s how we push past those moments & just do the next right thing that matters. I have friends & family on the front line of this thing & I find purpose in knowing that by us staying at home a little longer we might help them & even save their lives. I’m going to continue to find the joy in life & treasure the moments I GET to have with my wild little Mara Ruby. I’m going to continue to look for ways to help others, even if its just with a phone call to make sure they’re ok on groceries. What could the world look like in the next 30 days if we all did our part?

Hang in there, friend. We’re gonna make it if we all stick together <3